In which I leave and come back

So this blogging thing…it didn’t really stick. It’s been almost two months since I posted! Yet here I am, trying again. And maybe it’s appropriate, because so often this following Jesus thing? this living-under-grace thing? it doesn’t stick. Jesus is still here, of course, and grace is still here, but I’m somewhere else, doing my own thing.

It’s not an intentional leaving. It’s not a physical leaving at all, but more a forgetting, which is a whole different sort of leaving… an emotional and spiritual distancing. I hate that I let myself become distant. His grace is precious to me! It’s my life-blood, and it’s my joy. Even so, every now and then I look up and realize some part of me has forgotten that I’m a child of God, that I am loved and accepted unconditionally. At those times, discontent and fear replace gratitude and joy. It ain’t pretty….

And so, time and again I must come back and place myself at his mercy. And–glory be–his endless river of grace pours over me, refreshing and renewing, and (this is the most amazing part) he calls me his own.

Thanks be to God.